“Is
he gone…?” Dell asked.
“I
think so” I whispered. I looked and saw her under my bed; she surprisingly
looked calm as if my dad screaming at me was normal routine, as if it seemed
normal, as if it was okay.
“Thank
goodness!” she said smiling. She got up from under the bed and fixed her hair,
pulling strands of her black hair behind her ear. I can’t remember when we
first met all I remember was that she appeared out of the blue I asked who she
was and what her name was and she responded with a shrug So I gave her the name
Dell; I called her this because I loved to play games on my mums dell computer.
But I remember her always being there for me, always being there when I was
upset. “Evan? Are you okay?” As she says this she’s face to face with me taking
my hand, studying my face.
“Not
really…” I replied.
“Really?”
Dell says slightly annoyed and lets go off my hand “C’mon cheer up, you know a
lot of people aren’t exactly having a great time either”. She moves over to my
toy box and kneels down starting to rummage through all my toys. Taking out
anything she can find action figures, toy cars and planes, even my Lego set
that I haven’t touched it years.
“What
do you mean?” I said quietly
“Well
you know,” she turns her head to my direction. “Loads of people are in living
in the streets and have no home, food or money.” She raises my Action man doll
up in the air moving the arms and legs up and down putting in new positions.
“There are probably hundreds of people that would love to be in your position
right now; sure you and your dad have ‘issues’…” She quotes the word issues
with her fingers “but you’re eating, sleeping, breathing. You’re alive!” She’s
standing up now facing me still by my toy box.
“Why
are you even here!?” I started to shout at her “You’re just always so mean to
me! You think your making me feel better but you’re doing the exact opposite” I
started to try and hit throwing my arms hoping to get her but she just floated
up to the top corner of the room to where I can’t reach her.
“Hey!
What are you screaming at?!” I hear my dad’s voice as he’s walking up the
stairs.
“N-nothing…
Dad it’s nothing” He opens my door and sees me in the middle of my room
“Nothing?
You were screaming bloody murder!” He grabs a hold of my wrist tightening his
grip “What did I tell you about screaming like that?”
“I
know, I know I’m sorry dad” I said almost tearing up I really wanted him to let
go hoping he wouldn’t go too far. He throws my arm down with force leaving a
red mark on my arm to where his hand was and leaves my room going downstairs to
probably watch more T.V. Dell noticed that I was upset and said “Just forget
about what just happened for now okay? Hey, How about we play a game?”
“Okay
then…”
And
for the next hour or so we played different games like hide and seek and tag
although she had an unfair advantage of being able to fly over me! We were
laughing and smiling for what felt like forever, At times I really do hate her
and question why she is always here with me, but at times like this I’m glad she’s
here.
7
years later and I’m in high school dealing with the pressures of growing up,
studying for exams, and maintaining friendships (with the few friends I have). Even
though I’m 17 you would think I was more mature. All my toys are packed away
and replaced with my phone, video games and T.V. But Dell was still there
following me wherever I went. I remember when I told my parent about her they
told me she was just an imaginary friend that she wasn’t real and that she
would go away when I grow up but I’m going to apply for college in a years’
time and she’s still here. It was almost as if she is my twin sister growing up
with me through the years. Throughout me growing up I grew quieter and opened
up to less people the only ‘person’ I really talk to now is Dell. I would just
talk to her for ages, ranting about how my school work would be towering over
me or some silly drama with my friend Zack and his psycho ex. Her response most
of the time is just ‘Wow that’s pathetic that you’re worrying about that’ or
‘if everyone is fine then shouldn’t you be too? But then again you’re talking
to me’ and I’m not going to lie she can be a real pain but she’s the only one
that is there for me wherever I go. Even at school I’ll be having lunch with my
friends and she’ll be standing sometimes even floating near the table giving me
glares because I’m not speaking to her and it’s not like I can involve her in
conversations you know? She’s in my head is what everyone says to me, my dad
and at times my friends say I’m crazy, crazy because I’m talking to someone who
isn’t really there. That was when my mum and I decided to go a doctor to see if
there was something up, see if I was ‘crazy’. When I entered the room I was
thinking it would be a waste of time that I was just get more questions than
answers and that I just had a hyperactive imagination but it wasn’t until the
doctor took all the tests and said the result that I truly started to question
everything.
“Ms
Day I’m sorry to inform you that your son is diagnosed with depression”
